Disappointed?

Too many times to count.

Disappoint - To fail to satisfy the hope, desire, or expectation of. (according to freedictionary.com)


I hate to disappoint (primarily God and my parents but also others in general), and I hate to be disappointed, but both are realities of a fallen world, so how should we handle disappointment?

After nearly 24 years of disappointments (along with innumerable blessings), God has taught me much in this area.

How we should handle disappointment depends on the source or cause of the disappointment.

What causes disappointment?

The failure of someone or something to satisfy the hope, desire, or expectation of the one disappointed

Who is at fault? The disappointed or the one who fails to satisfy the hope, desire or expectation?

It is far too easy to blame the one who does not satisfy the hope, desire or expectation, but what if the hope, desire or expectation is misplaced?

As an extreme example, what if someone became disappointed when another refused to have sex before marriage (which clearly contradicts what is in the Bible)?

The one who hoped, desired or expected what clearly contradicts God's Word would be at fault.

Is that true all the time? Is the one disappointed always at fault?

No, it depends on the source of the hopes, desires and expectations.

Are the expectations of the disappointed based on the Bible or selfishness?

If the expectations are grounded in God's Word, the one who does not fulfill them is at fault and needs to change.

For example, if a husband expects his wife to respect him and she does not, the wife would be at fault; though, in this case, the behavior of his wife should not influence his love for her (and vice versa - his lack of love should not be cause for her not to respect him).

"However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband." ~ Ephesians 5:33

Love and respect are not earned but are free gifts offered to one another by the grace of God and in obedience to His Word, regardless of the behavior of others; though, each of us is called to live worthy lives.

"Show proper respect to everyone: Love the brotherhood of believers, fear God, honor the king." ~ 1 Peter 2:17

"My command is this: Love each other as I have loved you." ~ John 15:12

If the expectations are grounded in selfishness, the one who harbors the selfish expectations is at fault and needs to change.

Every hope, desire and expectation of Jesus' disciples (all believers) should stem from the Word of God.

"Not only so, but we also rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope. And hope does not disappoint us, because God has poured out his love into our hearts by the Holy Spirit, whom he has given us." ~ Romans 5:3-5

So, how do we know if our expectations are grounded in the Bible or selfishness?

By knowing God's Word:

Read.

Meditate.

Memorize.

Repeat.