Did you become angry? Did you cry uncontrollably? Did you say you would never love again? Did you put up a wall in order to protect yourself from getting hurt again?
Did you read the poem, "I am a rock" by Simon and Garfunkel?
(According to www.lyricsfreak.com)
A winter's day
In a deep and dark December;
I am alone,
Gazing from my window to the streets below
On a freshly fallen silent shroud of snow.
I am a rock,
I am an island.
I've built walls,
A fortress deep and mighty,
That none may penetrate.
I have no need of friendship; friendship causes pain.
It's laughter and it's loving I disdain.
I am a rock,
I am an island.
Don't talk of love,
But I've heard the words before;
It's sleeping in my memory.
I won't disturb the slumber of feelings that have died.
If I never loved I never would have cried.
I am a rock,
I am an island.
I have my books
And my poetry to protect me;
I am shielded in my armor,
Hiding in my room, safe within my womb.
I touch no one and no one touches me.
I am a rock,
I am an island.
And a rock feels no pain;
And an island never cries.
And a rock and an island never experience the love of a father for his son or the joy of a mother at her newborn child or the peace of a sister after a heart-to-heart or the patience of a teacher with a student or the kindness of a stranger or the goodness of the Lord or the faithfulness of an intimate friend or the gentleness of a tender touch or the warmth of a hug.
That poem, more than anything less, strengthened my resolve never to allow the pain of love to harden my heart, to build walls or to bury love inside. Such an existence would be far more painful with the separation from everything that makes life worth living.
Instead, I choose to fall into the arms of Jesus, the only One who is always there, and allow Him to heal my heart to be soft again in order to continue to love--no matter the cost.
You may ask, why would anyone want to go through that painful process over and over again? Love. Hurt. Love. Hurt.
I would respond, because the Maker of heaven and earth, our Lord and Savior, loves us enough to go through that process over and over again. We say we love Him, yet we fall short time and time again.
What if God put up a wall? What if God decided not to love us any more? What if God gave up on us as we so often give up on others?
Life would be miserable. There would be no reason to live.
But He does not put up a wall. He continues to love us unconditionally--no matter what we think, say or do--because His love for us does not depend on our love for Him or on anything we do.
"And so we know and rely on the love God has for us. God is love. Whoever lives in love lives in God, and God in him." ~ 1 John 4:16
He does not give up on us but bears every nail we pound into His hands and every insult we hurl at His face.
"When they hurled their insults at him, he did not retaliate; when he suffered, he made no threats. Instead, he entrusted himself to him who judges justly. He himself bore our sins in his body on the tree, so that we might die to sins and live for righteousness; by his wounds you have been healed." ~ 1 Peter 2:23-24
He says not one vindictive word against us but loves us and says, "Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they are doing" (Luke 23:34).
How often have you prayed that prayer for someone who has hurt you intentionally or unintentionally? How often have you continued to love--not when it was easy--but when it hurt?
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